Summer Time Blues!

Free at last. Free at last. Thank almighty being that I don't particularly believe in I am free at last. Finals are over, and my summer has began.

I would usually be more than excited that summer has began, but this time I am much more pessimistic of what summer holds for me. To all students, young and older like me, summer is this mythical time. Full of hope, optimism, adventure, and the works. In the past, I was always the same way. Summer was my time. I always hoped that the next would be greater than the previous.



But summer after summer, it never happened. There was always the cruel usual boredom. Maybe it was because I grew grew up in the middle of nowhere and the closest kids to my brother's and my age were the neighbor's kids who were in high school when my older brother was going into middle school. Or maybe it was because I have always been socially awkward, and a borderline recluse. I don't exactly know why, but summer's always did more disappointing than anything.

I think that last summer could have possibly been the worst of them all. I had moved back 'home' from Savannah after the hellacious year that I had (which I am currently working on writing about for your reading pleasure). I came 'home' to my parent's new house in Alabama. I knew no one in Alabama, except my family. I was bored to say the least.

Then something amazing happened. I went to spend the week with my brother. For the first time in a long time, I was having fun and enjoying my life. The week turned into a month, and that was fine with me. So long as I did not have to sit in that boring ass house any longer. Some crazy shit happened while I was there. I will try to write about them later. Pretty much we spent every weekend that I was there doing three things: drinking, partying, and having fun.

But then it all had to end. I came back to the Alabama house and realized how much I missed the Georgia house, and my brother. I got depressed. I was completely alone. I had left all of my friends in Savannah, my brother live in Georgia, and I could not talk to my parents.

The month between leaving my brother's house and starting school at my new university, was probably the lowest point in my life. I debated on whether or not it would even be worth continuing the pitiful existence that was my life on a daily basis. A large part of this could of been because for the first time in around five years I was off of my anti-depressants. But I could not take them, they turn me into a emotionless zombie, incapable of basic compassion. That month was not grey, it was black.

I was so happy when I finally returned to school. I had a new outlook, I was just simply not going to let myself feel that way anymore. To this day I still have a daily battle with depression, but I am working on it. I still so not take my anti-depressant medication, probably should, but cannot because of how it makes me feel.

I wanted to make this one short, mostly just to let you know that I am still alive and have came through the Finals Battle alright. It was a long and arduous fight, with many casualties, but I pulled through. Thank you all for your patience and I will be working on new content this summer. I will probably be spending another 'week' at my brother's house, so if I go MIA for a month, I am probably there. The only reason that I say this is because I will not be able to post while I am there, they don't have internet. But I will let you know via Twitter if I do. Alabama house has internet, without cell phone service. Georgia house has cell service without internet. I really do not understand this world anymore.

May Peace Be With You!