Friday, July 6, 2012

The Case of the Two Gay Roommates Part VI: The one with the tension

Last night I had found out that my best friend and roommate Zach, was in a relationship with my nemesis and other roommate Carson. Fortunately, when I found out earlier that night—after John, the other roommate had gotten drunk and told me—Carson was out of town with his friend, hunter, who I later found out was his ex. Zach and I had taken a walk to talk about the nights events and had returned just as the sun was coming up. Following the ‘stinker incident’ mentioned previously, we went to my room to watch an episode of Criminal Minds that I wanted him to see because the boy in it, who turns out to have killed his little brother because he had broken his model airplane, reminded me of one of our roommates. I am not going to say any names, but he was currently sleeping off the previous night’s inebriation in the next room.

 Moreover, I knew that once Zach started watching any crime drama he could not sleep until he found out the ending, and my exhaustion had not hit me yet and I did not want to be alone. I was also enjoying spending time with Zach, although the conditions could have been better. We watched most of the episode before my exhaustion finally kicked in and I suddenly became all too aware of exactly how long I had been up and how great my sleep debt really was. I finally kicked Zach out—or maybe he just left, I really do not know seeing as I was about three ticks past delirium—and I quickly nodded off to sleep.

I remember waking up sometime in the afternoon the next day thinking to myself, maybe it was just a dream. Then I did some complex philosophical thinking and realized that there was no way that it was a dream. I laid there in my bed thinking to myself, well that sucks, my best friend is gay. At first, I thought about just abandoning him, tossing him to the metaphoric wolves. Then I realized how wrong that would be for me to do that. What really does his sexuality change about him? Is he not the same person he was the night before last? I finally realized that although I was not happy about his newfound sexuality, he was still my friend. I was not superbly thrilled that he was gay, it might make things slightly more awkward in the future, but the one thing that I could not really look past was whom he was being gay with. Of all people in the world, he had to pick Carson!

My nicotine craving finally got the best of me and I got out of bed and put on my clothes to go outside to smoke. John and Zach were either gone or still asleep. There was no need in disturbing them if it was the later. I was enjoying the tranquil calmness and solitude that was our apartment, especially after the night before. It was like when you wake up before everyone else and get those few precious moments of calm before the day starts. As I walked down the hall, all my meditative tranquility was shattered.

Carson was standing in front of the refrigerator, doing something Carsonesque. He about jumped out of his skin when he saw me, and after an awkward exchange I walked outside to enjoy my cigarette. After a couple of calming puffs, I was once again in a state of meditative tranquility and I started thinking to myself. I wonder if he knows. Did Zach ever get ahold of him last night? I guess I need to talk to him just in case he didn’t. As much as I disliked him, now knowing that Carson was gay made me somewhat feel sorry for him.

Not ‘feel sorry for him’ in the sense of pity due to some oddity, but more feel a sort of pain for him as a human being. No matter how hard it is for a young man to come out of the closet, I could only imagine that it had to be a lot better than living a lie for so long. Also, seeing as how Carson was forced out of the closet, I thought it would help him if he knew that I—one of the people he greatest feared knowing his secret—really did not care about it. I still loathed him, but I needed to let him know that I was okay with it and would support him being himself, and most importantly that I would not try to throw it up in his face as he had feared.

As I finished off my cigarette, I thought about how to approach the topic. I had never been one for abruptness. I kept thinking to myself, How do you approach such a sensitive topic. Either, he already knows I know and possibly would not want the further intrusion, or he doesn’t know and I am about to crush his life’s charade. Either way, this is going to be an awkward ass conversation. It needs to be done, so that he knows I know, we know, and that he has people who support him, particularly me—the one he was worried about finding out. In addition, I did not want him to blame me, or John. I guess I will just wing it.

As I opened the door to come inside, Carson was still standing in the kitchen, no longer staring at the refrigerator. He made his usual face of disgust as I walked in and carried some of the cigarette smell with me. Typically, I took pleasure in this, a visual sign that I had successfully bothered him. This time though, I felt annoyed and had an urge to more permanently disfigure his face. Then I remembered that I was supposed to be calm, supportive, and nice.

I closed the door and walked over to him in the kitchen. I started slowly, by making initial contact and asking what he was doing. He was changing the battery in the clock or something else that most normal people never think about. After a few awkward pauses and fumbles, I finally figured I might as well just dive in. I asked, “So did you hear about last night?” He had somewhat heard the story recapped by Laura, but was not completely certain.
“Yeah about that…?”
“Well John kinda got drunk and told me about your’s and Zach’s relationship,” I responded.
“That is what Laura told me,” said Carson.
Now I had to absolve myself from any perceived wrong doings, “Sorry man, I tried to avoid it. Even told him that I didn’t want to know, but he was drunk and kind of insisted.”
“He doesn’t need to drink anymore,” said Carson rather abruptly and authoritatively, “And I wish he would learn to keep his mouth shut.” I figured Carson would blame it on the drinking he abhorred anyone who drank.
“I wouldn’t necessarily say that, he just doesn’t need to drink if he is supposed to be keeping a secret,” I said jokingly, trying to defuse the tone of hostility I sensed in his voice. Carson gave a small laugh, mostly as a courtesy.
“Yeah I guess so. He better be glad that he did not get in more trouble than he did,” said Carson.
I had to agree with him, “Yeah he was very lucky last night,” but I also did not want to focus too much on John and have Carson blaming him, there had already been too much of a disturbance in the relative peace of our apartment. I quickly tried to divert his attention to another source, “From what I understand, John did not just stumble upon it. Hunter had told John last week about y’all and he had tried to hold it in for as long as he could. He told Laura, because really, how do you sit on that?” Carson made a snort at him telling Laura. “And they both agreed to not tell anybody. But then John got drunk, because apparently it was really bothering him, and figured that I had a right to know. I didn’t tell anybody because that is y’alls business, and I personally don’t give a damn.” I was somewhat lying about the last bit and since I hated liars I had to amend my declaration of not giving a damn.“I do care, but not in the condescending sense, it is just going to take some getting used to. But now, pretty much we all know.”
“Yeah… that is pretty much what Laura told me. I just wished everyone didn’t know.”
“Why?” I responded in shock, “It is not that big of a deal.”
“It is just that it was mine and Zach’s personal business and no one needs to know,” responded Carson. I was a little taken aback by his response. I had never pegged him to be a conservative when it came to exposure. I had figured that he would have loved all of the attention. He finished, “Plus, I liked the thrill of sneaking around.”
“Well they do now!” I said jokingly and then got serious as I finished, “And if they have a problem with it they can come talk to me.”
He cocked his head as if in disbelief and slightly grinned and said, “Well thanks.”
I let out a confused laugh before asking, “What?”
“It is just I can’t believe you are actually defending me,” he said still taken aback and expecting me to deny it.
“Nall you know I don’t give a damn about stuff like that. I just really don’t see anything wrong with it and I will stand up for anybody based on principles. Like I told you before, I would not care if my son was gay, I would only care if he did not tell me.” I was getting into poetic speech mode. “And I know that you didn’t want me to know because you were afraid of me using it against you, but you shouldn’t have worried. I may do some mean things, but I have principles, and they tell me that this is not the kind of information that you use against people.” Carson was looking somewhat stunned. “I guess what I am trying to say is that it does bother me that y’all did not tell me, but I do understand. Hell, I can’t really blame ya, I wouldn’t of told me neither.” I said as I gave a maniacal glance and Carson gave a small chuckle. “But now that I do know, you don’t have anything to worry about. I ain’t going to use it against you, or at least I’ll try not to.”

I paused to take a breath and Carson interrupted my speech to say, “Thank you for that.” I guess he thought I was done.
“No problem. Now I ain’t going to lie, I still ain’t to fond of you, on a personal level. But, I am pretty fond of Zach, him being my best friend and all, and ain’t nobody going to mess with him. I may despise you to your core,” I said looking directly at him so that he knew I was talking about him, “but I will die,” figuratively of course, “defending your right to be who you are.”
I am assuming Carson understood what I was saying, because he simply responded, “Oh.”

I had to laugh a little once I realized how stupid what I had just said sounded, but I also had to admit it sounded pretty good. Then I further explained fearing he really did not get exactly what I was trying to say, “What I am trying to say is I really don’t like you, you know that, and I am assuming that you don’t very much care for me.” He agreed so at least we had a mutual disdain for one another. “But, I also know that you are facing a lot now with your secret being ripped out of the closet and put on public display. I imagine it is hard enough for someone to come out on their own, much less being forced out.” I suddenly, for possibly the first time realized just how human he was and how much empathy I had for him at this difficult time. Before I even knew exactly what I what had happened I had given into my rare whim of humanity and was saying, “You did not ask to bear this weight, and I guess what I am trying to say is… I will try to help support you and Zach both in this. Zach already knows I got his back,” I felt the desire to add ‘no pun intended’ but decided not to, “and so now I am telling you. I support y’all. If you need anybody to talk to or if anybody fucks with ya, let me know.
He laughed a little and said, “Alright. Thanks.”
“Just please don’t hurt my friend.”

I still loathed him on principle, but I was going to support him and more importantly, I was going to support Zach. I knew that in the coming weeks, especially since the news was out, that Hunter was going to try his damnedest to break the two of them up, and I did not want him to succeed. It was not that I was beside myself with joy that my best friend was in a relationship with Carson, it was more that I wanted him to be happy. If being with Carson made him happy, however unhappy it made me, it was my place to support him and at least try to be nice to the little twit.

In the days following Carson’s and my conversation, I started to regret having promised to support Zach and Carson, and especially my internal promise to be nice to him. Our apartment had always been a rather happy place. Since there were four of us, we were bound to disagree and argue at some point, but we always had some de facto rules such as: if you do something, it is alright for others to do the same and majority rules. For the most part, we all got along pretty well. However, after Zach and Carson came out, our relatively calm and relaxed apartment started to become more and more tense.

We had always sat in the living room, or any room for that matter, at night and for hours on end talked, laughed, had a jolly good time; especially John, Zach and I. Carson would often be present, but he was more of a bystander of kept for comic relief. That is something that I had always enjoyed because for just about any subject you could find at least one person to talk with about it. But frequently since the infamous night, we would all be sitting around talking and out of nowhere Zach and Carson would get up and leave John and I and go off into Carson’s or Zach’s room, which ever was empty which was typically Carson’s. Alternatively, if, as it often was only John, Zach, and I, Carson would call Zach to his room expecting Zach, as he often did, to abandon the conversation mid-sentence. If, as he once did, Zach did not immediately come running Carson would get all pissy and make a big deal out of it. After first noticing this, I secretly made it my agenda to see how long I could get Zach to stay around after Carson called.

I had to remind myself that they were in a relationship and it was to be expected. I had just thought that it was me being paranoid. Until one night John was outside with me smoking and we started talking. We had both picked up on a few things here and there, and it seemed to bother both of us.

There was the abandonment of conversations and company that was just rude and annoying that I mentioned above. We had both noticed how they were constantly stuck up under each other’s ass all the time, leaving things that had once been a four-person activity only two. They increasingly showed each other more and more attention while John and I were being ignored. I know that that sounds childish and petty, but damn you freaking live together. Any time that Zach and Carson argued, although Zach would try to keep it behind closed doors, everyone felt the tension. Most prominently though, John and I both noticed how gay they were both acting. Both of them started picking up more and more mannerisms of a stereotypical gay male. In addition, something that John had noticed but I had not until it was brought to my attention was Carson’s ever-increasing attitude. He began to act as if he was untouchable, arrogant, and above everyone, a narcissist hiding behind his new beau. He was especially acting this way toward me. I believe that he had mistaken my message of support for him as a message of defeat. I guess he figured that I would not dare insult him or risk losing my friend.

I just remember feeling an ever-increasing feeling of tension in our apartment. I still despised Carson, but in a way, he was right. I did back down more than I usually would, as to not drive a wedge between Zach and me. Then there was the whole relationship that had to be contended with. There is a reason people say “never date your roommate” and since they are typically talking about a heterosexual couple, I am going to go out on a limb and assume it goes double for a homosexual couple. This tripled when the homosexual couple has two other heterosexual roommates. There was also all kind of personal things I was going through. Most predominantly at the moment, I had no one to talk to about all of the shit I was going through. I could not talk to my mom about it because I felt it would be ratting them out yet again, and I did not want her or the rest of my family to think negatively of Zach. That leaves one other person who I talked to about my problems: Zach. However, I could not really talk to him about my problems, because he was a large part of it. The only person left was John, but he was not Zach, the only person I really trusted in Savannah. 

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