Friday, August 17, 2012

The Case of the Two Gay Roommates Part XII: The one with the end.


Since before this story began, I had a subtle desire for my family. After winter break though, my subtle desire had turned to deep longing. The only real thing that had kept me from transferring schools was knowing that at least I had my best friend, Zach, in Savannah. The demise of our friendship was the final straw, cementing my decision to transfer schools. For the most part, following the soda bottle incident, Zach and I had gotten along. We did not speak to one another, which helped out a lot. I will not lie and say everything was peachy, there was a decent amount of tension; the same as if you forced Obi-Wan and Darth Vader to live together. However, I was determined to keep the peace my last few months in Savannah. On virtually every occasion that a problem did arise, I took the high road. I refused to put my friends in the middle of our feud and allow them to be pawn in our game, as Zach and Carson had. I knew that is what would happen if I retaliated. Our de facto arrangement of universal indifference toward one another and my Gandhi-like nature worked brilliantly. There was less than a week left in the school year, I only had one final in Statistics, and an oral presentation for my Spanish class left. The rest of my classes had already had their finals, and by Tuesday I would be finished with this year from hell. After the year I had, I decided that I wanted to go out with a bang; one last celebration of the good times, before I left Savannah for good. Posting about this exodus on a Facebook countdown till I left had caused me some problems. I only had six more days left and I posted a status celebrating this and saying, “I want to go out with a bang.” When Carson saw this status—via a minion he had created for Farmville since I had blocked both Zach and him—he took it literal and freaked. He and Zach reported my misread terroristic threat to housing and subsequently I was reported to University Police. It was their last diabolical attempt to screw me, before I was freed from my own personal hell. I had already talked to two UPD officers the morning of my Statistics final, when they woke me to make sure I was not going to go homicidal. Then met with the Director of Housing after my final, during which I refused to promise him not to harm myself, anyone else, or their property. Because of this refusal, he wanted me to speak with the Chief of Police the next day.

In the morning, I woke well rested, even though I barely slept. I had my usual feeling of dread at first, but then remembered that the cause of my dread no longer lived under the same roof. When Zach and Carson had reported me to Housing, they were forced to move out—for their protection. There was no one left to cause me strife, and a state of bliss fell over me like I had not felt in almost a year. The ecstasy was short lived, as I remembered what lay ahead of me today. In my sheer delight of having inadvertently rid my apartment of the gruesome twosome, I had absentmindedly forgot about my Spanish oral presentation that day and scheduled to meet with the University Police Chief during the allotted time for our class to meet. I had made the decision to go to my Spanish class, my grades were more important than that crap, and hoped that the Chief understood.


There was no strict order to the presentations, but a couple of groups had already talked to our professor and arranged to go first. I only hoped that I could get finished in time. As I sat there, wishing that they would hurry the hell up, my phone began to vibrate in my pocket. I had fifteen minutes until it was time for my meeting with the Chief. When the second group finished, my hand shot up when the professor asked, “Who will go next.” I had already talked to her at the beginning of class and told her I would not be able to sit through the entirety of the presentations, but she saw another groups hand first. When they finished ten minutes had already passed and I told the professor I had to go next. Halfway through my presentation my phone began to vibrate in my pocket. My scheduled time had come, and I was not there. I could only imagine the vicious psychotic rampage the Chief would assume I was now going on. Maybe acting slightly like a maniac yesterday when I talked to the Director was not such a good idea. As I was finishing my presentation, I felt my phone vibrated again. This time I recognized the prolonged series of short buzzes as signifying it was a phone call, followed by a brief pause and one final long buzz signifying the caller had left a voicemail. Oh crap, they’re sending out the hounds.

I quickly wrapped up my presentation and then as courteously as I could, left the classroom. The moment I got out the door, I checked my phone and my suspicions were correct; one missed call and a voice mail. The voicemail was at best an attempt to scare me if I had skipped out on them, but I called the number back and told them I was on my way, and luckily the Chief was willing to wait on me. I began walking at a pace befitting of an Olympic champion in speed walking to the station. When I arrived, I announced myself to the clerk sitting at a desk behind a thick pane of glass before taking a seat in the isolated waiting room. I was thankful for the wait, it allowed me to collect myself and wipe the sweat that had accumulated on my brow from the spring humidity.

 I have done nothing wrong. Yet! Even if I haven’t, they think I have. When is he going to call me back there, the more I sit here, the more I really do start to think of homicide, and what I want to do to them. Strangling, the life slowly leaving his eyes. Stop! You can’t allow your thoughts to betray you. No matter how much you want to kill them, he can’t know it, or else it will ruin your plan. Inhale, I do not want to harm Zach and Carson. Hold, I do not want to harm or maim Zach and Carson. Exhale, I do not want to harm, maim, or kill Zach and Carson. Inhale, all I want is— a sharp metallic clank jutted me back to reality. The solid metal interior door opened from behind and a man, dressed in understated slacks and white dress shirt of a senior officer, stepped forward. The golden shield he proudly wore on his belt immediately caught my eye. He must be the Chief. Stay calm!

The Chief was older and thinner man than the Director was. His face was thin and papery, with a forehead larger than it once was and grey hair on top of his head with only traces of the brown of his mustache and brow. His dark piercing eyes hid behind a pair of golden round spectacles that highlighted his overall rodential face and gave him a wise and well understanding appearance, maybe a beaver. We walked down a long hall, before coming to a door with a placard noting it the office of the University Police Chief. The office was spacious and well organized, much nicer that the half hazard office of the Director, with many plaques and commendations from a long successful career. There was a desk on one side of the door, with a half-eaten sandwich from the lunch I obviously interrupted and a rectangular table over to the other side, which the Chief directed me to sit at. The Chief sat silent a moment, staring directly at me with his dark piercing eyes, seeing right through me. In a well-educated voice he said, “I want to start off by saying the purpose of this interview is to decide what actions need to be taken, and anything you say can and will be used against you if I see fit to bring charges against you. Do you understand?”
“Yes sir,” I responded, “and I would like to thank you for telling me that up front.” I was serious, I appreciated his candor, even if he was telling me he was going to cuff me himself if I misspoke.
“So what’s been going on?” asked the Chief in a less formal voice.
“Well I guess I need to start at the beginning, if that is alright.”
“Sounds like the natural place to start,” joked the Chief.
I don’t know why, but I like this guy. It is probably some well ingrained Jedi mind trick from the academy, but I am going to go with it. More relaxed than before, I said, “Well it all started almost a year ago…” and I could tell I had his attention. I told him the abridged version of the story that I have told you to this point, only leaving out the few self-incriminating details. “…And that leaves me here with you,” I finished. I assume he was stunned, I had summed up a whole year long story into a five minute blurb.
Then he said, “So what about your Facebook post?”
“Honestly, I really don’t even really remember posting it, but I assure you I did not intend for it to be taking this far, nor did I mean it the way it was taken.”
“I see,” he said calmly.
“I just meant I wanted to have fun. Enjoy my last few days here. After all that, I still don’t want to see any real harm come to either of them. I mean sure I would love to see them stump their toe or break their arm, or even have their breaks go out and get into a car crash and get seriously hurt, but that does not mean that I want to be the one who cuts the line.”
“I see, then why didn’t you just tell the Housing Director that?” he asked.
“I tried to but my words failed me. I don’t know why I can’t promise to not do anything. For some strange reason I have very deep morals and hate liars. And after all this crap, I was afraid that if I was to run into them and they say something I might go off on them and hurt them, or their’s or y’all’s property, or even myself,” I said, “I mean, I don’t know what two minutes from now will bring and I am not going to make any promise if I am not certain that it won’t get broken.”
“I see,” he said again.
“I mean come on, the semester is almost over, in a few days my mum and brother are coming to help me move so I can be closer to my family. I love my family deeply and miss them more than anything. Also, the past five months have been hell for me, do you really think that I would be stupid enough to jeopardize being able to spend the summer with them, and get out of here and being able to transfer schools and be closer to them. Do you really think that I would jeopardize all of that just to see two assholes pay? I would be an idiot to risk that and my entire future just for them two,” I said.
“So you are transferring?” he asked. 
“Yep, this is my last few days in Savannah. I have come to love this city, this school, the friends I have made her,” I said, “I would never do anything to screw up my last few days here with my friends. And if I was to do anything it would only cause problems for John. Pretty much everything I have did has been to protect him. If I retaliated now, it would have all been in vein.  At this point, I’m through with them and their childish games. I really don’t see how they have achieved anything. I have won, and I did not even try.”
“What do you mean, you have won?” the Chief asked.
“I mean that I am able to enjoy my last few days here in this city I love at this school, with my friends, without them being around. I would never do anything to risk me losing that, and the other stuff.”
“I see, so why are you transferring? Is it just to get away from Zach and Carson, or another reason?” asked the Chief, genuinely curious.
“Partially to get away from them, but because I want to be closer to my family is the main reason. Zach was just the last straw. And now I guess I have John, but I had already made up my mind.”
“Hmh, I see. I wish there was something I could do to change your mind,” said the Chief, then noticing me shaking my head, “but I can tell there isn’t. I do understand you wanting to be closer to your family, but I did not want you to leave because of your experience with them two. Armstrong is not all like that, we are an up and coming university that is trying to build to the future, and I hate that they gave you the impression otherwise,” he said. Then continuing talking about improvements to AASU, why he was drawn to Armstrong as a place to semi-retire (mainly being Savannah itself), protocols he has enacted since taking the job as Chief to help better the University and protect its students and their futures. If he had not already had a successful career in law enforcement, he probably could have had a decent one in sales. He is right. Armstrong is a great school, and Savannah a great city. Then it hit me, damn it, I have been telling myself I want to be closer to home, knowing good and well wherever I go for the summer will not be home. I am leaving what has become a home to me to rediscover a home I once knew.
After listening to the Chief talk for about ten minutes, I finally said, “I have to ask, just to put myself at ease, am I in trouble or anything. I mean I would hate to have a pleasant conversation with you and then I go to leave and you be like, ‘hold up, you’re under arrest.’”
The Chief slightly laughed then said, “Oh my bad, I forgot, I got wrapped up in the conversation. No, I don’t think that you meant anything by it. Bang is one of those words that in our heightened state of security we tend to forget that it has alternate meanings, like bomb for example.” I figuratively scratched my head trying to think of any different meaning of the word bomb, while the Chief continued, “Say you’re in an airport and you hear the word bomb, coming from a young person what is the first thing you think of?”
“Buddy Row has a bomb,” I answered.
“Exactly. In the post 9/11 world we are programmed to think that. But depending on the context he could have just been saying something was ‘the bomb.’”
Then I remembered running around in the 90’s as a child declaring everything I perceived as cool ‘the bomb.’ TSA agents would swarm poor Modern children if they ever made that exclamation. I said, “I’m glad that you realize that and don’t think I’m crazy or something.”
“No. It was already a bad situation and you, not thinking, posted an innocent comment on Facebook that got blown out of proportion. The new Housing Director is just too green in these matters to deal these matters,” said the Chief.
“And I did not help by refusing to promise him not to harm property, myself, or anyone else,” I said, “and for all he knew I was nutters and was going to go all homicidal the minute I left him.”
“No you didn’t. You got to be careful with what you say, how you say it, and to who you say it.”
“I realize that now,” I said laughing a little, “So you don’t think I’m nuts?”
“No, not at all. I’ve trained with the FBI and have learned to read people’s behavior and I realized that you were fine after about five minutes and nothing you have said or did while we have been talking has given the slightest hint at you being anything but sane.” Me being a huge fan of the show Criminal Minds, was interested in that and we continued to talk, or mostly he did for a while longer before he finally remembered the sandwich on his desk and dismissed me so he could get back to his lunch. In all we talked for well over half an hour, and only about five minutes of it was the interview.

After leaving the police station, I headed back to my apartment. I figured John was not up yet, so I stopped by Laura and Morgan’s apartment. They were both sitting in the living room when I got there, and Laura asked, “So how did it go?”
I let out a slight laugh and said, “I was in there for around thirty minutes and it took only five minutes for him to realize what a load of crap this all was.”
She laughed before Morgan piped in, “I tried to tell Carson how stupid he was being, but he didn’t listen.”
Am I hearing that right, “Do what?”
“Carson came by and showed us the post and I said you didn’t mean anything by it and he was overreacting. Then when he told me he was going to the police I told him he was being stupid,” she said, “I mean both of them knew you weren’t going to do anything.”
“You took my side?’ I asked in disbelief.
“Well yeah, they were wrong,” she laughed, and then asked confused, “Why do you sound so amazed?”
“It is just… I knew John was on my side, was certain that Hunter was too, and figured Laura would be. But out of all y’all, based on our history, I figured that you would have been the one all for lynching me.” She looked at me taken aback, and I finished, “It’s just, you didn’t. You took my side.”
“Well yeah, they’re wrong.”
I smiled, “I’m glad you see that.”
Laura said, “I mean it was really stupid of them anyways. We all took your side, and you got rid of them for your last few days.”
It hit me, really for the first time, “You know you’re right. It’s funny all semester I’ve felt alone, and tried to do everything I could to protect y’all all, especially John. Zach on the other hand tried his best to turn y’all against me, and yet when it really came down to it, y’all all supported me and took my side without me even trying to convince y’all to. I truly did win.”
“Yeah, I guess you could say that,” said Laura, and Morgan agreed.
“I never wanted to put you all in the middle of this cluster fuck. That is why I mostly refrained from talking to any of y’all about it all, except maybe John. But even then it was mostly just venting. I never tried to openly persuade y’all to my side, that is why I have never really talked about what happened. I wanted y’all to see how they were for y’alls self.”
“You’re right,” realized Laura, “So what the hell ever happened to you and Zach. I’ve heard it from their point of view, but never yours.”
I laughed, “I guess it want hurt now for y’all to know the truth,” then proceeded to tell her the story of the joke.
When I was finished she said, “Really, that is nothing like the version they told me.”
“I figured it wouldn’t be. How far off is it?”
“Not that far off, but they made it sound like you were talking directly to Zach and intended the joke toward him and everything. Instead of just openly telling a joke,” she said.
“Nope, nothing like that. So now y’all know what really happened. I’m sorry if I ever unintentionally caused y’all to be in the middle, but I’ll be damned if I was going to apologize when he could not even admit he was wrong too.” They both agreed with me, and I knew I truly had won.

After the past couple of days I had, I deserved a break, so I spent the rest of the day relaxing. Hunter picked me up and took me to run some last minute errands before I left. Afterwards we officially lifted his ban from our appartment and he hung out for the rest of the afternoon. At some point during the evening, Zach texted John because he had forgot something important and wanted to come by as ‘John’s guest’ to get it. Initially I was completely against it, and demanded he have a police escort. Then I began to feel bad, about John being in the middle, and relented at John’s reassurance that it would only be a few minutes. To avoid a complete catastrophe John made both of us promise not to talk to the other. When Zach finally did get there, I did not say a word to him, but gave him the ‘death stare’ the whole time. As time ticked by, while this ass hole was in my apartment, I began to get pissed. When I heard Zach start to talk about sports, the visit had shifted from a recovery mission into a social visit and I was not having it. I started talking to John about “intruders” and how I would “hate to have to call the police” on them. Zach called my bluff and remained firmly planted. Therefore, I did the only reasonable thing and escalated to call his. I got my phone and dialed the number for University Police and made sure Zach seen it. Just before I pressed send, Zach told John he would talk to him later and left. I was bluffing again, but he did not know that. After that, John and I helped on of our neighbors Michelle; take on a bottle of tequila in preparation for the celebration/send-off on Cinco de Mayo. The rest of the night, week even, was extremely peaceful and fun.

The next day was even more peaceful, as I spent most of it packing. That evening Hunter came over and John, him, and I did something that we had not did in a long time. Hunter brought one of his systems, and we had one final epic Nintendo Party as, John and I tried to finish off the liquor from the night before. We barely put a dent in it. The day was finally upon us, Cinco de Mayo. After spending all day packing, I gave up in the evening to enjoy the celebration. We had the rest of the tequila and more, and Michelle came over and cooked tacos. I cannot promise that the following is exact or even a chronological listing of events, but hopefully you get the general gist of it. Hunter was there, Laura showed up when the liquor came out, and Morgan popped in for a bit. We had one epic night, and I got drunker than I had been in a long time—except maybe the time I got lost in the woods. We made friends with the neighbors, who none of us had previously met. I disappeared for a while because I met some people who lived below us who were celebrating. When I came back, Laura had met a stranger guy from the apartment across from her and invited him to party with us. Earlier in the semester, this random massive metal cactus thing had showed up in our apartment one night when our door had been open because our AC was out and none of us knew where it had come from. As it turns out, the guy that was now partying with us had gotten tired of his roommates metal cactus sculpture thingy and seen that our door was open and stuck it on our coffee table.

After a late start caused by the night before, I spent my last full day living in Savannah packing up the rest of my non-essential belongings and moved them to the living room so that I could clean my room. It took me almost three days, but I had finally finished. All of my non-essential crap had been neatly packed away and now sat not so neatly in our living room. For my last night there, I did not want another massive party, a hangover while moving did not sound well. Instead, I just wanted a quiet and quaint affair, a couple of friends stop by, we share stories about the good, and not so good, old days. Essentially, I wanted one epic night of nothing. John bought some steaks and cooked them for us. Then we finished off the last bit of alcohol in our apartment, played some cards, watched some television, and then went to bed.

I woke up early the next morning, because I had a lot of last minute things to do before my mum and brother got there; but finished well before they arrived. John got up and hung out with me for a little bit before my mum and brother arrived around noon. Laura and Morgan came over to help me move, along with John and my brother. John left halfway through loading up, because Zach and Carson were waiting on him to go to an off-campus bookstore for buyback and were already bitching. Shortly after John left, Hunter showed up. It was good to see him one last time before I left for good. I was getting ready to tell everyone goodbye, when John showed up just in time. I had already written him a note, but it was nice to be able to properly tell him bye. There they all stood waving me farewell, my saviors, my friends: John, Hunter, Laura, and Morgan. If it had not been for each of them, I probably would have left with a literal bang.

We had barely gotten out of the parking lot when my mum said, “I thought about contacting Zach’s mom and telling her what he has been up to, but only if you wanted me to.” It was a nice idea, and would have been sweet revenge at last for the nightmare he had caused. However, if I chose to do that, I would only be doing the same thing that they had done. I was uncomfortable outing him to his family. When he was/is ready that is his choice to make, not my card to play. However, most of all I just wanted it all to be over. “No mum, I don’t want you to do that,” I said. I turned around in my seat and looked out the back window and a mixed wave of relief and sadness flooded over me as I watched my own personal hell and my home fade into the distance. Knowing that in the end I came out on top, something that I had once reveled in, now did little to stifle my lamentation over the family and home that I was now leaving. I could not help immediately questioning if I had made the right choice, then I closed my eyes and was comforted by one simple fact that I had to remind myself of.
Inhale. It’s over. Exhale.

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